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|  i was skimming house-of-sins one last time, and i decided to post this up. most of you don't understand how i have an eating disorder and i'm not a fucking stick. so read and shut the fuck up dude. i'll bold what fits me:
You Know You Are ED-NOS When...
(posted by members of my LUNCHBOXforums. All statements made anonymously.)
you sell your textbooks to buy laxies.
one day you can't even imagine eating over 1000 calories and the next you hit 2000 or more.
the people who know you have an eating disorder don't take you seriously...including health professionals.
you eat salad so much that when your dad takes you out to eat he tells you that you can't have salad and means it...so you go to the other extreme and eat pizza and cheesy garlic bread and stuff yourself silly.
Your weight always seems to stay the same...all the starving and binging seem to cancel eachother out. No one can see the emotional pain you have because your body isn't displaying it.
You haven't excatly lost your period, so you don't fit the criteria for having ana
the people who know you have an eating disorder don't take you seriously...including health professionals.
you see yourself as an umbrella
you want to change the anorexic criterea just so you feel like you fit in
you've considered a sex change to make your period vanish
you've gone through a week that went somewhat like purge, fast, purge, fast, binge, binge, binge, binge, binge
all your meals are miltiples of 20 calories... 20 calories, 200 calories or 2000 calories
some days you go to the super wal-mart to walk around the store and burn calories, and other days you go because there's an all-you-can-eat buffet right across the street that you sneak off to and binge at like there's no tomorrow 'cause for $8 you can have ANYTHING you could ever possibly crave... and uh.. riiight, I'm not speaking from personal experience...
people listen to you say you're anorexic and say "that's a bunch of BS"
you're convinced you have a thyroid problem because no matter how much you restrict, the weight just stays there...
You fast for 5 days and lose 5 pounds and then gain them all back from 2 days of binging.
In your house you have rice cakes, sugar free jelly, apples, and other healthy stuff, and then you have cookies and ice cream... but no food that normal people would eat.
Someone asks you what eating disorder you have and you dont know how to answer. "All of them... on different days, but not totally extreme..."
taking diet pills to lose the most of the weight, then taking them out of habit or to MAINTAIN your weight
instead of eating anything healthy, you drink until you puke because you want to
when you starve yourself all day but eat about 2000 cals or more at night.
when you feel that you're anorexic but it sure as hell doesn't look like it.
when you are so picky people wonder why you're not skinny- but the few foods that you DO like are pizza, ice cream, etc. so it makes sense to you.
when you eat food until your stomach hurts, and then try to purge. But then when you realize you don't feel like gagging, you just give up and lay down.
When you don't want to get out of bed because you don't know what kind of a day it will be and you don't want to risk overeating again
your psychiatrist makes a chart of your weight and it ends up looking like a heart monitor
its actually funny to me..im dying of laughter !!!
heres a collage a friend made. its honestly wonderful.
| | |
| DAPHNE loves JEZIRAE! I LOVE YOU DEAREST. WE'RE GUNNA KICK GZA'S BUTT ON MONDAY.
today was a pointing kind of day. i pointed alot. and made sexual passes at the wannabe HxC kid on my bus. hey, he made them first.
bored to death. IM me someone. i don't care if you live in mississippi. i need someone to talk to! | | |
| new song : Ape Dos Mil | Glassjaw
wow...WONDERFULish day. pretty cool. nothing special. MiCK SMOOSHED AND WOOSHED AND POUFFED MY HAiR. but it was cool. i love that kid. haha, my little stoner with the green ireland sweater ! hairflip !! haha. inside joke from 5th period last year.
dude! Jezirae and i totally got Gza! two days ago we gave her an atomic wedgie and ripped her underwear, and today, we gave her hella gross wetwillies. we rubbed our spit on her face. MONDAY! we're gunna fill waterballoons with whipped cream, freeze it, and throw it at her. muahahahha.
ALESSA KNOWS!
so i told her i liked jfkdjlas
LettersOfTears: which jfkdjlas
??
LettersOfTears: tell me!!
sxual tension x: jfkdjlas.
sxual tension x: haha
sxual tension x: hiding
LettersOfTears: ??
LettersOfTears: THE TALL ONE?
sxual tension x: YEAH
LettersOfTears: the jkajkdjkla?
sxual tension x: YEAH.
sxual tension x: omg.
LettersOfTears: OH MY GOSH!!
LettersOfTears: jfkdjlas's my homie g puppy!!
sxual tension x: I SAID DONT FREAK OUT!
sxual tension x: haha, exactly why i told you.
LettersOfTears: lol
sxual tension x: yeah.
sxual tension x: im like. red/pink. colored
the convo progresses
sxual tension x: and hurt my finger
sxual tension x: and he gave me harry potter bandaids
LettersOfTears: hahahah
LettersOfTears: awwww!!
sxual tension x: yeah. i know.
sxual tension x: and we shared starbucks and a rootbeer.
sxual tension x: it was fun.
sxual tension x: and he was all hot and sweat and topless and sexy.
ettersOfTears: lol
LettersOfTears: awww!!!
sxual tension x: dude, i was like 'OH SHIT HES HOT !!
sxual tension x: '
sxual tension x: i wanted to like...rape him.
LettersOfTears: hahahaha
sxual tension x: im serious.
sxual tension x: BUT DONT TELL HIM.
sxual tension x: omg, id die
LettersOfTears: i'm not gonna tell him
LettersOfTears: lol don't worry
sxual tension x: thank you. i love you !!
LettersOfTears: your welcome sweetheart
LettersOfTears: I love you too!!!
sxual tension x: hehe
sxual tension x: haha, hes a cool kid ...
LettersOfTears: yeah
LettersOfTears: hes awesome to talk to
LettersOfTears: he's hella asian
LettersOfTears: even though hes korean
hahaha....
im listening to rachel's song. sadness... | | |
| skidding out
i can't hardly wait for our first winter's snowfall,
so we can walk hand-in-hand through the falling flakes
and i can brush them out of your hair
as i kiss you on the lips.
winter never seemed so great until i shared it with you.
even skidding out on black ice seems romantic
when you're in my passenger seat,
because the excitement in your eyes as you say, "let's do it again!"
is cathartic for every other girl i've ever loved.
let's go visit the north pole,
because i've never fallen faster
but this snow isn't falling fast enough.
©2004 Kyle Massar All Rights Reserved
meaning: BiTCH, DONT COPY. | | |
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